When reading about autism, it's often about children. When it's not, it's often about men. I signed up for a theory of mind training, but they couldn't find a group with a woman in it. And that's what they wanted me to experience. Interact with an other adult, female Aspie. I guess we're a rare breed..
Today I found a blog in which they listed traits that adult, female Aspies often have. It's like someone was describing me. So I figured I'd write down the traits that I see back in myself.. Enjoy!
A deep thinker
A prolific writer drawn to poetry
Highly intelligent
Analyzes existence, the meaning of life, and everything continually.
Serious and matter-of-fact in nature.
Everything is complex.
Naïve
Honest
Experiences trouble with lying.
Finds it difficult to understand manipulation and disloyalty.
Easily fooled and conned.
Feelings of confusion and being overwhelmed.
Feelings of being misplaced and/or from another planet
Feelings of isolation
Survives overwhelming emotions and senses by escaping in thought or action.
Escapes regularly through fixations, obsessions, and over-interest in subjects.
Escapes routinely through imagination, fantasy, and daydreaming.
Escapes through the rhythm of words.
Philosophizes continually.
Had imaginary friends in youth.
Imitates people on television or in movies.
Treated friends as “pawns” in youth, e.g., friends were “students,” “consumers,” “soldiers.”
Makes friends with older or younger females.
Obsessively collects and organizes objects.
Mastered imitation.
Escapes by playing the same music over and over.
Escapes through a relationship (imagined or real).
Escapes through counting, categorizing, organizing, rearranging.
Escapes into other rooms at parties.
Cannot relax or rest without many thoughts.
Everything has a purpose.
Sensory Issues (sight, sound, texture, smells, taste)
Feelings of polar extremes (depressed/over-joyed; inconsiderate/over-sensitive)
Eating disorders, food obsessions, and/or worry about what is eaten.
Questions place in the world.
Wonders who she is and what is expected of her.
Searches for right and wrong.
Since puberty, has had bouts of depression.
Flicks/rubs fingernails, flaps hands, rubs hands together, tucks hands under or between legs, keeps closed fists, and/or clears throat often.
Friends have ended friendship suddenly and without person understanding why.
Tendency to over-share.
Spills intimate details to strangers.
Monopolizes conversation at times.
Bring subject back to self.
Comes across at times as narcissistic and controlling.
Shares in order to reach out.
Sounds eager and over-zealous at times.
Holds a lot of thoughts, ideas, and feelings inside.
Feels as if she is attempting to communicate “correctly.”
onfused by the rules of accurate eye contact, tone of voice, proximity of body, stance, and posture in conversation.
Conversation can be exhausting.
Questions the actions and behaviors of self and others, continually.
Feels as if missing a conversation “gene” or thought-“filter”
Trained self in social interactions through readings and studying of other people.
Visualizes and practices how she will act around others.
Practices in mind what she will say to another before entering the room.
Difficulty filtering out background noise when talking to others.
Has a continuous dialogue in mind that tells her what to say and how to act when in a social situations.
Sense of humor sometimes seems quirky, odd, or different from others.
She finds norms of conversation confusing.
Feels extreme relief when she doesn’t have to go anywhere, talk to anyone, answer calls, or leave the house.
One visitor at the home may be perceived as a threat.
Knowing logically a house visitor is not a threat, doesn’t relieve the anxiety.
Feelings of dread about upcoming events and appointments on the calendar.
Knowing she has to leave the house causes anxiety from the moment she wakes up.
She prepares herself mentally for outings, excursions, meetings, and appointments.
Question next steps and movements continually.
Telling self the “right” words and/or positive self-talk doesn’t often alleviate anxiety.
Knowing she is staying home all day brings great peace of mind.
Requires a large amount of down time or alone time.
Uncomfortable in public locker rooms, bathrooms, and/or dressing rooms.
Dislikes being in a crowded mall, crowded gym, or crowded theater.
Sensitive to sounds, textures, temperature, and/or smells when trying to sleep.
Adjusts bedclothes, bedding, and/or environment in an attempt to find comfort.
Dreams are anxiety-ridden, vivid, complex, and/or precognitive in nature.
Longs to be seen, heard, and understood.
Questions if she is a “normal” person.
Highly susceptible to outsiders’ viewpoints and opinions.
At times adapts her view of life or actions based on others’ opinions or words.
Recognizes own limitations in many areas daily.
Becomes hurt when others question or doubt her work.
Views many things as an extension of self.
Fears others opinions, criticism, and judgment.
Dislikes words and events that hurt animals and people.
Collects or rescues animals.
Huge compassion for suffering.
Sensitive to substances.
Questions life purpose and how to be a “better” person.
Feels trapped between wanting to be herself and wanting to fit in.
Imitates others without realizing.
Adapts self in order to avoid ridicule.
Feelings of extreme isolation.
Feeling good about self takes a lot of effort and work.
“Freaks out” but doesn’t know why until later.
Had a hard time learning others are not always honest.
Feelings seem confusing, illogical, and unpredictable.
Confused when others ostracize, shun, belittle, trick, and betray.
Trouble identifying feelings unless they are extreme.
Feels sorry for someone who has persecuted or hurt her.
Situations and conversations sometimes perceived as black or white.
The middle spectrum of outcomes, events, and emotions is sometimes overlooked or misunderstood.
A small fight might signal the end of a relationship or collapse of world.
A small compliment might boost her into a state of bliss.
Likes to know word origins.
High interest in songs and song lyrics.
Remembers things in visual pictures.
Has a remarkable memory for certain details.
Writes or creates to relieve anxiety.
Has certain “feelings” or emotions towards words.
Words bring a sense of comfort and peace, akin to a friendship.
Simple tasks can cause extreme hardship.
New places offer their own set of challenges.
Anything that requires a reasonable amount of steps, dexterity, or know-how can rouse a sense of panic.
The thought of repairing, fixing, or locating something can cause anxiety.
Cleaning may seem insurmountable at times.
Many questions come to mind when setting about to do a task.
A trip to the grocery store can be overwhelming.
Trouble copying dance steps, aerobic moves, or direction in a sports gym class.
Has a hard time finding certain objects in the house, but remembers with exact clarity where other objects are.
